March Update: 24K & Another Plague
In which: Maggie gets REAL -insert aggressive flexing here- about working through writer’s block and catching colds from kids.
Another month down, another 10,000 words! Actually, I think it’s more like 13.5 or 14K — March has been simultaneously super productive and super backwards. There’s a cold making its rounds in the school and it finally caught up with me last week, so I’ve been up and down in terms of energy levels and, y’know, general health.
So, in true Maggie fashion, I haven’t been able to write EVERY day, but when I do write it’s been in massive marathons of 2,500 to (only once) 8,500 words. I ended up taking a hefty portion of my time to rewrite the 45 or so pages I had so far into first person instead of third, which also gave me a chance to do some minor editing and cleanup. And once that was done, I focused on catching up on word count (because 17.5K words became about 13K after edits).
Then I got sick (yay me!) so I had almost a two-week stretch of not writing AT ALL and got myself behind again on word count. But I’m at 24,759 when I need 27,000, and I’ve got today and all day tomorrow to knock out the last 2,500, so I’m feeling pretty confident I’ll be back in the game by class time tomorrow.
Speaking of — it’s my first workshop tomorrow! And I’m terrified.
Okay, that’s being dramatic — I’m not really “terrified,” more like “understandably anxious about it because I haven’t done workshop since college which was -checks notes and vomits- literally six years ago.”
Everybody in the class is so welcoming, supportive, and spot-on with their criticism, though, so I know tomorrow will go really well. I’m just gonna freak out about it until then because that’s what I do.
I just finished Chapter Eleven last night, and by my best guess I’m about a quarter of the way through the book. I still feel like I’m in “setup mode.” I’m definitely still in the first story arc (I think there will be three?) and getting to the point where the main characters are starting to poke at the mystery around them. But this is also the Big Ambiguous Middle Ground of the novel, and like most writers I’m slogging through a lot of “But THEN what happened??” in order to get everybody from point A to point B so I can finally start laying the groundwork for point C.
(This has been a recurring episode of “How Specific Can Maggie Get While Also Being Vague Enough To Not Give Away The Plot?” Check back next week to see how many words we can redact in a single paragraph!)
I definitely feel like I’m rushing plot-wise, but the nice thing about first drafts is that nobody really sees ‘em. I doubt this particular section will get workshopped since I’m likely going to need more help with sections further along later in the year. I’ve got some character situations where I’m just throwing people into the scenes because they need to be there and planning on going back later to make it all make logistical sense.
I also have been driving myself crazy because I’ve caught on to a writerly tic of mine where every description of someone’s emotions or reactions is tied to their eyes — withering looks, flashing eyes, gazes dropping to the floor everywhere. I’ve been doing a lot of reading so I keep meaning to see what other writers do instead, but then I get caught up in really good books and forget to actually look for that.
(Speaking of: I finished Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston last week and I canNOT stop thinking about it. So good. So horny. So wholesome.)
I’m also rereading Hank Green’s The Carls series because I own the physical books and I’m trying not to look at screens so much at night. And those are written in such a unique and delightful way that I’ve been really sucked into Hank Green’s style, and it’s difficult to put that part of my brain away so I can write anachronism-filled low fantasy. (This is a very mild complaint because I LOVE those books.)
It would be great if I could start sleeping like a normal human being so that I could have reliable energy levels and stick to a consistent schedule, but NO, I’m not allowed nice things.
Yes, I know that’s my own dang fault.
It doesn’t help that Maryland not-winter-not-spring is still gray and gross and miserable. That definitely contributes to me wanting to sleep all the time. But I also know that I lean into that sometimes (and my bed is calling to me now even though I didn’t get up until 12:30) and could be taking different steps to make sure I’m energized (aka FUCKEN JUICED — I don’t know where this gym bro energy is coming from today but I’ll take it).
Other random pseudo-writerly things on my mind…
I want to get my headshots done because I’m still using one of my senior photos from (yikes) 2014 and I look NOTHING like that anymore.
I also really need to make myself a new resume because my old one is janky AF with all the broken Word template issues.
I keep going back and forth on starting an Instagram account under the writerly pseudonym I’ve picked out, but I also don’t see much of a point until I actually have something to promote. I’d rather have a Twitter so I can be pithy and obnoxious, but that place is a dumpster fire right now and I don’t want to feed into it.
Same deal on starting a podcast: The more I listen to podcasts the more I want to have one of my own, but it’s very tough for me to start new things where I’m not getting paid because my mental energy reserves are so aggressively already assigned to other things. And survival is EXPENSIVE in 2023, y’all, so any chances I get to make money I need to be taking.
Speaking of, I’m on the fence about picking up a client, morally and financially (and also brainspace-ally). More money would equal less stress would equal more brain space for writing would equal less brain space because additional client work something something aliens and tequila. A great look into my brain on the daily.
I had all these great ideas for writing and submitting short stories each month but I’ve been copping out of that due to brain space issues, and I’m realizing as I’m writing this that I don’t have a budget for submission fees, either. (But that’s not a real excuse because there are a ton of free options, Maggie!!)
My travel bug is also eating me alive which is super annoying and low-key depressing. I want nothing more than a nine-hour drive with an audiobook or some podcasts and some really cool mountains. But I live on the East Coast now so mountains ain’t much of a thing — at least not the kind I’m talking about. I have this obsession with Montana and I reeeeeeally want to go back, but having zero money and a new set work schedule at the school has taken away my agency for impromptu travel like in Utah. (Wahh wahh, first world problems.)
I’m like literally falling asleep at my desk right now which proves I really need to get on top of this whole sleeping issue soon. Maybe I’m still sick because I’m not resting correctly. I would say “enough” but it feels like all I do is sit around so it’s definitely something about the way I spend that time. Eh, I’ll figure it out eventually.
I don’t have to be at the school until 5 tonight courtesy of the plague, but I’m trying to talk myself out of taking a nap so I don’t feel like I’ve wasted the entire day. Tomorrow isn’t super stacked so I’ll get to sleep in, but I at least have a time limit on how late I can conk out since I have a doctor’s appointment at noon. (See, this is my strategy — I schedule things earlier in the day to force myself out of bed, but then I end up rescheduling them and going back to sleep because I’m a goblin.)
And tomorrow is critique day!! I’m hoping workshop lights a new fire under my ass to help me get through the mid-section slump. Better weather would also help a lot, but lucky Maryland, it seems like we’ll be getting a lot of rain and nastiness this week instead of actual livable enjoyable spring weather. Sigh. I miss Utah springs.
A side note — that’s a total grass-is-greener situation because I was really unhappy in Utah, especially toward the end. I know 99% of that was feeling so isolated, and the trade-off I’ve made to be closer to my family has been worth it, but boy howdy do I miss traveling and all that beautiful Wild West air. (I also, y’know, miss my best friend, who still lives out there and is why I spent time there in the first place.)
I’ve been kicking around grad school again. I think if I apply a second time I’ll narrow my choices down to just the University of Montana and maybe one or two others. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, and we’ll go from there. (I wonder what MFA programs there are in Minneapolis?) If I do apply again, it’ll either be at the end of this year or the end of 2024. I’m just having trouble picturing what 2024 looks like for me, so all of my grand ideas are lined up on a very, very, very long fence.
Speaking of nasty Maryland weather, here comes the rain, so maybe I will take a little nap to enjoy the ASMR of it and have enough energy to make it through work tonight. Yeah, I’m caving.
Til next time,
Mags